Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, "Who am I, and how did I get here?" Those are questions we usually don't ask, unless we have amnesia or have taken too much Darvocet. But from time to time, I think we should all stop and ask ourselves the most fundamental questions about our existence.

This week, I've been contemplating those questions as I stand back and look at my life experiences over the past few months. With everything that I have been through and am going through, I just have to ask, "Who am I that I should be living this life? How did I get where I am today?"

I grew up the son of a carpenter and stay-at-home mom. During my late-elementary years, my mom went to college to become a teacher. My childhood wasn't glamorous; we never had the nicest clothes, shoes, or cars. But we had each other, and we knew right from wrong. Dad, Mom, son, daughter, dog, cat . . . in our area, we were the average family.

A graduate of a very small high school in Southeast Missouri, second in my class of seventeen, I grew up a big fish in a small pond. Sure, I was the overachiever involved in all the clubs, band, and any out-of-school opportunity that came up (not sports), but compared with those from larger schools, I was just the average high-schooler. I spent a semester in South Carolina chasing a dream of becoming a pilot, changing my mind shortly after entering college. When I decided to become a teacher, I moved back to Missouri to attend community college then a Baptist college in St. Louis. There's nothing special about my education - for the most part, it's the average story.

Fresh out of college, I landed the first job I interviewed for, bought a house and a car, and started my life. A few years later, I met a beautiful, wonderful girl and married her a year and a half later. Sound familiar? The average story of entering adulthood.

When I stop and think about my average life, certain parts stick out as being anything but average:

• For eight years, I continuously amazed myself with my graphic and media abilities in my position at church.
• I'm the president of the Southeast Region MSTA - a region that encompasses over 70 school districts and represents most of the teachers in those schools.
• I have the most beautiful, well behaved, precious daughter in the world.
• I'm on the Board of Directors of the 40,000 member MSTA, helping to shape the direction and lead the operation of the Association.
• I led our local teachers association through constitutional changes that reshaped the organization and changed its name.
• I recently finished second of thirty-eight applicants for an assistant principalship in a mid-sized high school.
• I stood in front of 1,000 teachers to run as a write-in candidate for MSTA Vice President, and lost by less than 10% of the vote.

When I think about those above-average highlights, I have to wonder, "Who am I?" I'm not a public speaker. When I even think about addressing a group of people, I begin to panic. My heart starts racing and my hands sweat. I'm not a great dad - the first time we took our daughter on a picnic, I forgot to buckle her in the car seat. Sometimes I forget to shake her bottle to mix the powdered formula with the water. I'm not a leader. Given an entire school year, I can't even make a yearbook deadline. Who am I?

In those times that I wonder "who am I," I remember that nothing I have ever accomplished, and nothing I will ever accomplish, is because of who I am. It's all because of who God is. I love the words of the Casting Crowns song, "Not because of who I am, but because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done, but because of who you are." I really am a "flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, (and) a vapor in the wind." But God is none of those. He has always been there, and he will always be there. He's the beginning and the end.

I'm twenty-eight years old. While I like to think that I have many years ahead of me(hopefully over fifty), I know that my life on earth will not last forever. No one is promised another day of life. I must choose to live each day based on who God is, not on what I can do; on what He has done in me, not on who I am. That's the only way that I can accomplish my life mission - to use my gifts and abilities to make the greatest impact on Missouri public education while providing the best possible life experience for my family.

I've always had a desire to plan my own funeral. Control freak that I am, I just can't stand to think that someone else might pick out sad, slow songs that I've never liked or miss the opportunity to share God's love and purpose by preaching a feel-good message or, worse, one that has nothing to do with life and death. One of the songs that I would like used in my funeral is "How Great is Our God," with the chorus of "How Great Thou Art" at the end. It's a version that we've used at church before - one of the best pictures of the greatness of God, with words that focus on His amazing splendor and majesty:

The splendor of the King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice, all the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at his voice, and trembles at his voice

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age he stands, and time is in His Hands
Beginning and the End, Beginning and the End
The Godhead, Three in one, Father, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb, the Lion and the Lamb

Name above all names, worthy of our praise
My heart will sing, how great is our God
Name above all names, worthy of our praise
My heart will sing, how great is our God

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Who am I? I belong to God, and I am only who I am because of Him. The lyrics of that song remind me that I can be and do anything, only because of His greatness. Who are you? We all have limited life experiences that sometimes seem to be sub-par for the accomplishments in our lives. Everyone has that mirror moment when we feel inadequate to face the challenges of life. We wonder how we made it this far, and we are amazed at the paths our lives have taken. How did you get where you are? What have you done to deserve the life that you have? What qualifications do you possess that make you the person you are? Where did they come from? Think about it for a moment. And don't forget to give credit to the One who deserves it!